you only live once
watch me yap about it here: https://youtu.be/pGpFt_aCg1s
a friend of mine the other day asked me:
"what are u working on these days?"
to my homies, i overshare. so i did.
but then she hit me with a question:
"dude u already have so much work to do.. why u keep torturing urself?"
and it floored me.
because on the surface, i know it looks excessive. but it’s not about wanting to be busy. it’s not even about chasing success or optimizing every hour. and not even about big goals.
just other versions of me.
i think that’s what side quests are. little experiments to figure out who else i could be, if i wasn’t trying so hard to be the main character all the time.
i used to think everything had to stack. had to build up to something. like progress was a staircase.
but some of the best things i’ve made came from detours. stuff i almost didn’t start because it “didn’t make sense.”
and maybe that’s the whole thing. maybe sense is overrated. maybe side quests are the real plot.
i look at little me: the version who used to draw comic books in moroccan dialect about gumball x anime with no endings, and give them to classmates for free.
who started a blog and forgot about it. (secret one since 2017. still there.)
who tried making beatboxes using windows movie maker.
he never asked: “where is this going?”
he just went with the flow.
and now, years later, i’ve got all these threads tangled in my hands, and i keep trying to weave them into something impressive, something people will clap for.
but what if it’s not about that?
what if it’s about picking one up again, and just seeing where it leads.
there's no pressure. there's no plan.
just a little spark. a little curiosity. a bit of delusion, maybe.
and that’s enough.
what am i working on?
i guess i'm side questing. and that feels like the most honest thing i’ve done in a while.
PS: yeah, maybe i don’t even know what excites me yet. maybe that’s why i keep trying everything.
not to impress. not to stack.
but because i’m still looking for the thread that pulls me in.
and if i find it through a weird detour or a failed experiment
then cool. it means the side quest worked.
yesterday i spent an hour learning a framework i'll probably never use again, only to replicate a soundtrack from my favorite videogame using code: